Have you ever felt lonely in a room full of people?
And just like winding bird I an on it again. . .
Nothing much changed. People still look like strangers to me. Maybe they avoid me, because I make them uncomfortable?
It is finally December. Though it is not that cold yet, but one after another white lonely snow flakes flies down from the glorious sky to the dirty ground, destined to melt and die. That is pretty sad, though snow usually makes of happy.
Noises all around me keeps increasing and I am still sitting in silence.
I really hate memories. I hate when I accidentally see some picture in facebook. Picture with a couple in it. And then I start thinking of what could have happened with me and that person. I start to regret my silence, my fear of telling my feelings. Why at that time I didn't tell him? I guess I'll never know. And the next time I'll see a picture of him and his girlfriend I'll get that little ache in my chest, smile sadly and keep scrolling down. He could have been mine. . .
My heart is taken and I shouldn't act like it's not.
I wish I wouldn't have so many regrets, but well, I guess everyone wish they wouldn't.
When silence finally wraps your ears you don't get any better. You just go around the same things in your head, only with more clear mind this time. Darkness kisses me on my forehead and says that I'm fucked up enough for today. So I just open my eyes wide and wait for a sand man to come.
Keep running.
2013.12.04
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