Do you know what it feels like to be outsider in any company? Because i know. And it sucks. To be the only one outside, smoking alone and wanting to be in my bed. Or maybe to be with my beloved one. Maybe it's only a drunk girls words, but i feel sad and really really lonely. I guess i'll never feel like i belong here. Because there's always gonna be someone more interesting or more pretty than me. I will never be important. No one gonna miss me. No one is going to notice that i am missing. That is how life is. And i am just like that. I am not special. I wish i was sober, at my boyfriends bed. Hugging him. Feeling special at least for him.
I guess i am just helpless. Lonesome person that wants to be noticed. And that's pretty sad i guess. I don't know what am i doing with my life. It's still a start point but i am to afraid to move.
so what are we doing? Maybe just trying to be like everyone else, but i an not like that. I am not a regular person. I am trying my best not to be one. I hope i will be good enough to call me a proud human being one day. For now i am just a drunk no one. Just a lonely girl sitting alone. Keeping my clothing on my body and wanting to stay this way. I guess i just need my close ones.
keep calm.
2013.10.19
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