crumbs.

Well, maybe it's not so bad? You get used to different people, you get used to be lonely in some kind of way. You get used to new rhythm. You get used to listen to a lullaby singed by refrigerator in ears hurting voice every night. You get used to voices and slogans of victory yelled by lightly drunk students. You get used to loud neighbours and clogged sinks in washroom.You give a smile to a kitty, that is warming his belly in the sun, and can't stop thinking, that at least something reminds you of home. You think. Maybe it's not so bad here.

Since I'm not a present too! The city itself should hate me, because  I mannage to talk louder than all its noise. I speak so loud, so that my neighbours, who are working with drills as if they we making new dubstep hit, would hear me. I kiss my amazing one and enjoy my love without noticing anyone around me, without thinking about how I make them feel jealous and how I make their longing for their loved ones even worse. And I require attention like I'm some kind of spoiled five-year old who didn't get the sweets that he wanted.

And in the end you don't understand, if those sounds that refrigerator makes actually became music, or you just lost your mind completely. You dont give any meaning to your thoughts anymore. You waste your time until your eyes doesn't care anymore and closes, until your brains dives into the dream, as if it's paint thinner.You exist there. It exists there. I exist there.

And  you are not waiting for anything, you are not hoping for anything. Not today. You curl up into a ball. Refrigerator finaly goes silent and imaginary music stops. We are who we want to be. We throw away masks. Goodnight.


2013-09-17