Again.

Hello. I'm here again.
Sorry, for not writing for so long.
I've been thinking about my past for a couple last days. I've been reading some old letters, from 2010 and couldnt help myself, but smile. In a way, I was completely different person back then! So full of happiness, and carelessness. I was a little sun shining back then, full of love and silly dreams. I was fifteen.
Yet, I like the way I turned out to be. Little shy, little cynical and little mad in a way. You like me also, don't you?
One of my friends recently told me, that I am the kind of person, who could achieve a lot, but is too afraid to. That's true tho. I have been told, that I could be a great leader. I know that people listen to me. Problem? Rest of the world is outside my comfort zone. And I aint leaving my warm and cozy comfort zone, I aint breaking my shell and I AM STAYING THE WAY I AM.
Sorry for not saying anything strong, like "I'm gonna change!" or "I'm gonna conquer the World". Sorry for not making any sense. If you've been with me for a long time, you have probably alredy got used to it.
I'd like to thank YOU, for actually reading my nonsenses.

Please, be strong.

Inge.

2014.10.18

Home. Thinking.

This time I might seem a little bit different. But that's OK, because I feel kinda fine today :)
For quite a long time I'm staying at home. No no, don't think anything wrong, I passed my exams and so I had 3 weeks of holidays. So I'm here, back at my hometown thinking, how wrong I was.
In a beginning of Autumn I thought, that I belong here, I had no friends in Vilnius and I was all alone, and now I sadly realize that it's kind of the same here. No one is waiting for me here, well maybe my little brother only. I'm the best friend of my own. It's strange, but I don't feel sad at all. :)
All those, who seemed to be my friends are not so important to me anymore and I dont seem to be important to them also. Probably, mostly because I left and they stayed, they kept going whit their lives and I did too. Thats normal.
One of my new friends sayed, that she feels like she changed a lot. Those words had me thinking if I changed. And you know what? I did not :) Leaving small town and moving to capital city did not leave any marks on me, I am still the same. Still a childish funny headles lazy bastard, doing what I want, saying what I want, and mostly - not giving a f**k.
While it's freezing outside I stay at home and not even tip of my nose goes outside the door. I love being at home, because there are so many places to do nothing! When the ice cold wind is tearing everything I just cuddle with my cat and a warm cup of tea. I don't feel lonely anymore. The less people there are - the less lonely I fell! Yey!
Being at home rocks!
I am fine. At least for now. :)

2014.01.29